The Ache of Change (Making Change) Day 2 of 5

From Making Change by Michelle Van Loon

When I was fired from a job I’d fought hard to keep, a friend reminded me that I should be prepared for grief to present itself as I processed the loss. And she was right. I spent some time telling myself it was all for the best. I found myself dealing with eruptions of frustration and anger as I replayed months of difficult inter-office politics where it seemed I lost too many hyper-political interoffice skirmishes with a difficult coworker. I grew depressed, and days of initial shock became weeks blanketed by a wooly, gray emotional fog. The rejections I received as I dutifully searched for a new job amplified my sadness.

While a job loss might be an easily-identifiable source of grief, I have discovered that every change – even a welcome one – carries with it some form of grief. For example, when a young adult child marries, you may love the partner they’ve chosen, and be overjoyed about the new family they’re forming, but find yourself unexpectedly aching with nostalgia as you come to terms with the reality that you’ve come to the end of an era in your family’s story.

For more than 10 years, I have walked alongside many who are moving into midlife. Many are caught off guard by the endings that often come at this time of life – empty nest, career shifts, changes in family life and status. It has been a privilege to help others recognize that our souls process change in much the same way we experience grief.

“ Though he slay me, I will hope in him; yet I will argue my ways to his face.”
Job 13:15 ESV

When Job dealt with a breathtaking pile-up of loss, his confession of hope in God contained a frank acknowledgement that he was actively grieving all the ways his life had changed.

Reflect today on how changes you’ve experienced recently have elicited some form of grief response in your soul. These responses can include denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

Prayer: Unchanging Father, as I navigate this time of transition in my life, I am grieving a past I can not reclaim. Kindle within me a spark of hope as I continue to process these changes. I ask this in the name of your always faithful Son, Jesus.

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