So, how do we process our losses, pain, and hurt? How do we survive without caving into our anxiety, hopelessness, and despair? Rather than coping by binging Netflix, scrolling through social media, overeating, drinking too much, or viewing pornography, how do we choose health, find a way to move forward, and thrive?

It begins by letting ourselves grieve. We need to feel to heal. Your emotions are real and valid. Let yourself feel them. The pain you felt in the past or are experiencing now is real. Be honest with yourself about your fears, feelings, questions, hurts, and struggles. It’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to grieve and mourn. It isn’t easy, but it is necessary. Don’t run from your pain. Don’t stuff it. You can’t go around it; you must go through it, and only then can you start to get better.

John 11:33-36 ESV
When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in his spirit and greatly troubled. And he said, “Where have you laid him?” They said to him, “Lord, come and see.” Jesus wept. So the Jews said, “See how he loved him!”

It’s okay to not have it all together and to mourn. In fact, it is healthy to do so. I’m reminded of how Jesus wept in John 11 when His friend Lazarus died. If He, God, took time to feel and grieve, how important is it for us?

I encourage you to write down the losses you have experienced. Let yourself feel those emotions. Sit with them and talk to God about them. Be honest with Him about your hurt, frustrations, and questions. Visualize Him being with you and comforting you.

God, I need to be honest with myself and with You about the ways I am coping with pain. Help me to cleanse my wounds instead of letting them fester. Help me to choose healing.